Kerry, wearing my outfit, looking much better in it.
My dad sent me a letter to tell me that my dog had died.
So, my dad writes, “I regret to inform you that Mikey boy was struck by an automobile while crossing a street trying to get to a dumpster for munchies.”
At least he died with some kind of bliss in my mind. I think. I find it odd that I wasn’t sad about not seeing him last week, but I am really quite sad about him passing away. Our four-legged friends just don’t stick around long enough.
I will scare my sadness away by playing Max Payne 2.
Elliott Smith committed suicide. I’m crying right now. I can’t believe this. I don’t want to. His music is so unbelievably beautiful.
To have someone that speaks so much truth and connect with you through his writing and music suddenly give up, what are you left with? That statement is so true, and we all keep asking each other it without much of an answer…
What happened? I guess it doesn’t matter now and nothing does really. I just feel sorry and bad that all the people that loved you really didn’t make much of a difference. That our love wasn’t enough, or didn’t reach you, or put you off, that you were unhappy anyway. But maybe your unhappiness was what we loved about you, so that our love was a constant reminder of how much unhappiness you had. All I can say is that I am crying as I write this, as I listen to your secretly sorry voice.
Goodbye gentle soul. Goodnight. How sorry I am to see you go. But you were maybe too beautiful for this world. So beautiful that it hurt to be in it. A star that shines too bright burns out early… I hope that you are not hurting anymore. I hope everything is good wherever you are. I hope that you are happy. Everything reminds me of you.
“I’m never going to know you now, but I’m gonna love you anyhow.” – Waltz#2
I went to sleep around 8:30PM yesterday. I’ve been lacking sleep lately. The earliest I get to sleep is 11PM lately, and I have a 7AM class M-R. My schedule is wearing on me fast. I struggle to wake up, I fight a zombie state all day, but I am not tired whatsoever at night. I have to force myself to go to sleep most nights, trying to remind myself that I will be tired when I wake up.
At 1:30AM someone pulled the fire alarm in my building. I get to sleep early and you see what happens? Running down the halls, half asleep, I bang on doors and tell residents to get out of the building. “Are you serious?” “Do you know what time it is?” “Do you know how cold it is outside?” It wasn’t a drill, obviously, but they’d rather be inside during a fire, I guess.
But we got them all out. The firefighters came… the ambulances came… I got back to my room at 3AM. I played Final Fantasy X. I am so addicted to that game. It’s not neccessarily good, but it’s graphically stimulating and I like playing RPGs.