Reflection on deleted entries

1 Aug

I just found a disc with my middle school and high school internet/weblog work. 1997-2001

::insert nostalgic moment::

For those readers that have kept up with my antics over the course of time, you’ll notice that my postings have changed a little bit. I’ve changed a little bit. I’m growing up and maturing.

It’s so easy for me to appear as this one dimensional existence online, and I don’t want new readers to read old posts and assume that I’m still the same person. And that’s the reason why I’ve been so hesitant about putting all of archives online. I mean, some old funny posts are still funny. Those aren’t the posts I’m worried about.

The posts I’m worried about are the posts where I’m at my ultimate, heart-breaking lows. The ones where I’m nearly in tears, rambling into a web application at four in the morning because it’s past my curfew and everyone else’s. The ones where I’m crashing from the Ben & Jerry’s ice cream I quickly demolished in one sitting. I read the posts again, and the memories come flooding back. And don’t start with me about the posts about the father figure.

I’ve moved on from it, sure I have. But I don’t like feeling vulnerable. It’s a feeling I’m all too used to.

And there’s my rambling and short attention span kicking up again, because the reason why I initially posted this wasn’t for a self-proclaimed pity party, it’s because of this: I’m not going to bring back those old posts. Thanks.

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